[fic] Have You Seen My Butler?

[Sebastian]

Synopsis: Ciel accidentally orders Sebastian to forget him. Now he has to find his butler before he loses him forever! (Post Season 2)

Chapter 1

Ciel should have been used to the fighting by now. It certainly happened enough for him to be. Still, the small demon's hands reached up to grip his ashy strands in frustration. The year was 1916 and in the 27 years they realized they would be bound forever, neither Sebastian nor Ciel looked as if even a moment had gone by. Though Ciel was a man of 40 by now, he still held the face and body of a 13 year old boy. While appealing to some, eternal youth had never been something he cherished. He didn't even like being patronized when he was 13. When Ciel was a human, Sebastian had followed every single order given to him without even a hint of a complaint. Now he took every opportunity to twist those orders around into something totally different and undesired. He took things literally and only followed the order to its most base wording, seeming to go out of his way to make Ciel miserable. Ciel could understand to a point. Sebastian had worked so hard to have him as a meal with no reward in the end. The younger demon just wished Sebastian knew how ridiculous this all made them both look. Those demon's aesthetics were washing down the drain with every taunt.

Ciel sighed and sunk into the couch tiredly. It didn't matter what they were fighting about anymore. Sebastian would profess to not understand his intentions and Ciel would expose it for the absolute bull shit that it was. Sebastian would apologize and just go do the exact same thing all over again.

Ciel rested a hand over his eyes and huffed. What was Sebastian trying to get out of him by acting this way?

"You know what, Sebastian? Just forget it." Ciel muttered, "Forget everything." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He gasped when he saw those familiar ruddy brown eyes widen before they disappeared.

"No! Sebastian!" He shouted, springing to his feet as he tried to grasp for the front of his fading tailcoat. "No, no no! Come back! I order you to come back right now, Sebastian!" His words were almost screamed at this point.

He never came back.

Ciel sat up 95 years later and pushed himself out of bed. He felt himself rather lucky to have a bed. He hadn't really slept in several months. Demons didn't really need to sleep, but it was nice to rest his body every once in a while.

The apartment he lived in now was a far cry from the mansion he grew up in as a boy. It was was nice and he kept it clean easily, but it was small and cramped in a dreary neighborhood. He reached for his eyepatch and stared at it a moment. The mark on his eye had never gone away, but lately it had started to fade. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. Seeing it every morning forced him to remember the demon who abandoned him. Did he blame himself? Of course. Phantomhives were always accountable for their actions. However, he could help but wonder if Sebastian wasn't trying to be given such an order. If nothing else, it reminded him of his own stupidity. On the other hand, part of him was terrified to lose the last chance to find his butler. The man who promised to serve him forver was now gone. He leaned into the dresser mirror to make out the faint outline of his contract. It was very easy to pass it off as mild heterochromia, but he pulled the eyepatch over it anyway. It was as comfortable as his socks or his shirt. It was just another thing to wear now. He tied it back behind his head with no trouble and opened the dresser to pull out a t-shirt. He paused when he let his eyes travel to the newspaper clipping taped to the mirror from March 10 of 1944; the obituary of Elizabeth Middleford. As a human, he'd taken his fiancee's company for granted. He could only assume it was the war that dragged her weary body to a stop. Did he love Lizzy? Of course he did. She was his cousin and one of the few family members he'd had left. She had been his best friend as a child and he was only treated with love even when he couldn't give her any in return. When he couldn't give love to anyone. She was his link to the past. The only thing in those horrible events that never changed. Lizzy was and would always be wonderful. Yet, he felt no remorse leaving without a goodbye. He never minded that their last dance was to a broken phonograph. He was long dead by then.

He slipped the t-shirt over his head and fussed with his hair some so that it laid over his eyepatch as it always had. After grabbing his crumpled jeans from the floor, he pulled them up and fumbled for a pair of soft cotton black gloves. On the back of his left hand was a solid black star confined in a swirled circle. It was not as ornate or old-fashioned as the one on his eye, but it was his mark. His symbol that he was in a contract with a human. He slipped the gloves on- not to hide it from humans, but other demons- and nodded to his reflection before reaching for a black apron on the back of his door, slipping it over his head. Just another day, right?

[Sebastian]

Chapter 2

Ciel walked out into the hallway and knocked on the door next to his own, "Mrs. Claspan?" He called in a once-gruff tone that had been softened with age and numbness. His keen ears picked out the shuffling noise of his meal waking and walked on down the hallway in order to make his way to the kitchen. Gwen Claspan was an elderly blind woman who had lost just about everyone she cared for. No horrible accidents or heart-wrenching diseases. She'd never had children and she had simply outlived her husband. Though Ciel was over 30 years older, she spoke with such wisdom and humility that one could only attribute it to a degrading body. Ciel had even tried to talk her out of forming a contract with him. She was far too nice and kind. Her soul would be pure and rich, but it would be disgusting. Like drinking slushie syrup straight. Flavorful, but nauseatingly sweet. A burst of energy followed by a crash. The meal would be terrible, but it was a meal nonetheless. For as dysfunctional as Ciel was as a human, he was only slightly better at being a demon. Finding food was difficult and good meals usually went to the more experienced fiends.

Once in the kitchen, Ciel got to work preparing breakfast. He'd become much more adept at cooking. Food never looked as perfect as Sebastian's meals, but they were presentable. He never tried to be One Hell of anything. Just Ciel. He turned when he heard the creak of Mrs. Claspan's feet on the hallway floor. At first, Ciel had been at a loss as to how to help this woman. Blind from the age of fifty, she never wanted help getting around, dressing, bathing, eating, sleeping. She even ran errands herself. The only thing Ciel could figure was that this sweet humble woman had sold her soul to Hell itself just to have a fumbling little companion in the last few years of her life. It didn't even out to him, but he wasn't about to pass up a meal no matter how stupid the prey. Ciel finished up cooking, arranging hash browns and bacon on the plate neatly before placing it in her usual spot. The small demon was of the opinion that Mrs. Claspan would eat breakfast in the exact same spot every morning whether she were blind or not. She was a creature of habit and did everything exactly the same every day almost down to the second. Sometimes he wondered if she weren't more precise than Sebastian. Either way, she greeted Ciel with a smile and reached out for his hand, which was precisely where it always was at 6:43am. He felt her rigid, dry fingers curl around his soft wrist and after a gentle squeeze of recognition, she let him go. Ciel turned and walked toward the door, bending to wiggle shoes onto his feet.

"I'll open up the shop downstairs." He announced when he squatted to tie the laces. Mrs. Claspan said nothing as she made her way over to her little table where her breakfast had been set. Ciel appreciated that she wasn't overly-chatty. He knew how to converse as a noble and a businessman, but everyday chitchat was never his specialty. With that, the young demon exited the apartment.

Downstairs, Mrs. Claspan owned a small coffee shop decorated like an old witch's cottage. The customer had the choice between a hodgepodge of hand-me-down couches and armchairs or a cluster of tables with mismatched chairs. The coffee wasn't the best and it was far too overpriced, but it was in a convenient location and they had a steady flow of business each day. Ciel, despite the fact that he looked thirteen, was the manager of the small shop. He knew business and he was happy with such.

He'd only just finished setting up for the day when the belled door jingled open to admit a tall man. He was lean without being muscular and he seemed to dress much better than any customer ever had. Runway names draped casually on his body as if he's simply asked them to nicely. Those were the only traits Ciel was able to notice. This man was simply far too peculiar and he did it by being incredibly ordinary. The small demon took a moment to take him in, but was impossible. If someone had asked him what he looked like Ciel would give the most basic description that could apply to just about anyone. He would say that he looked normal with no abnormalities or mutations. He had short hair, but Ciel would not be able to tell you the shade or style. Ciel would go on to say he had a peculiar eye color, but he couldn't get his mind to identify just which color that was.

"Good morning." The man greeted. Once again, the voice registered in Ciel's mind as a normal tone, but he would never be able to describe what it sounded like. It was as if this entire man were an Egyptian hieroglyph. You can tell it's a word, but you have absolutely no idea what it means.

"Morning," Ciel replied with a nod of greeting and polite smile, "Anything I can get for you?" He was so confused that he'd forgotten that this man walked in a good ten minutes before opening time. How did he even open that door?

"You could fetch me an apron?" The man asked as he began to walk behind the counter, "I'm your new barista."

[Sebastian]

Chapter 3

Ciel couldn't help but stare at his name tag. Just like the rest of him, Ciel could not read his new employee's name to save his life. He could sound out the individual letters and when he spoke to him, he was able to say it. Strangely, it was as if he couldn't even understand himself when he spoke it. If someone asked for his name, Ciel could give it, but he wouldn't know what he was saying. What was this man? How do you misunderstand every detail of an entire person?

Ciel puffed his cheeks and forced himself back to work. Perhaps he was just having a bad day with monotony. It would make sense for his mind to play tricks on him after so many years. Maybe he wanted this man to be mysterious. If he wasn't anyone, he wouldn't have to face that he wasn't Sebastian either.

The small demon shook his head. How ridiculous. Now he was trying to find Sebastian in total strangers. The chances of him even being near London were slim. Where do you search, though? Between Earth and Hell, Sebastian could have been impossible to find. Ciel looked up and around to make sure no customers were in hearing range. It had been years since he'd even fancied the thought of trying this again.

"Sebastian," He whispered, lifting his eyepatch slightly, "I order you to come to me. I command you to help-"

"-help?" The new employee spoke up as he carried a box of disposable cups to the counter.

Ciel gasped loudly in surprise and jumped as he turned around, "What?" He asked, narrowing his eyes as he tried to make out this man's features. Once again. His eyes could see him, but all his mind saw was the vague outline of a person. Well, then what if it was Sebastian? Sebastian had straight black hair in a horrendously improper hairstyle. This man had short brown hair. Okay, one comparison down. Suddenly, the strands and spikes of the new employee's hair came into focus. It was a light brown stylish cut, chopped short and gelled up in front. Great, so he had a floating enigma with hair.

"You seemed to be having trouble with something," The employee said, "I asked if you needed help. Are you feeling okay?" He asked, but Ciel was in his own world now. He'd made the discovery that his mind really had fooled him. He wished this ordinary man to be Sebastian so much that he refused to see him as anyone else. If he couldn't see him as anyone in particular, then there was a possibility that he could be Sebastian. Ciel started to look over the rest of the man, making similar comparison. He thought about Sebastian's face, his body, his skin. The more features he compared, the more features on the man before him became clear. All of these features were... disappointingly, very unlike Sebastian's. He was surprised at himself at how much of his runaway butler he remembered. Ciel looked to his name tag and read the letters to himself individually. As if Sebastian would even keep the name he'd given him over a century ago.

"Alexander." The small demon said, realizing that was what his name was. He looked at the man as a whole now. He was a good looking guy with well-tanned skin over a very slightly toned frame. He seemed tall, but who wasn't to the immortal child? There was a surprising sprinkling of freckles across the apples of his cheeks and bridge of his nose. They trailed all the way down his neck and probably spread over his shoulders. Ciel forced himself to look at his eyes now, remembering the dark ruby ones that narrowed every time he smirked. These eyes, however, were grey. Not a terribly interesting shade of grey, they were very bland. He could have sworn they had something more to them when they met, but in the normal daylight, they were plain. This man was in no way Sebastian. He couldn't even pretend he was Sebastian.

"What is it," Alexander asked, "Young manager?"

Ciel dropped the carafe he'd been cleaning, suddenly glad there were no customers around to see him stumble and fumble with everything he touched today. "Don't call me that!" He snapped, reaching up to comb his fingers through his bangs in an attempt to calm himself down. "That even sounds stupid, why would you call someone that?"

Alexander seemed naturally taken aback. "I'm sorry, sir. I've just never had a job like this before. I'm not sure how to address you, honestly."

Ciel lifted an incredulous eyebrow at the taller man, "Y-you can just call me Ciel." He said with a small bewildered frown before bending to gather up the broken glass. "Sorry for snapping, by the way." He added in a much calmer tone as he stepped around him for the broom. "It just reminded me of... a nickname I used to have."

Alexander bent to help, holding the dustpan as Ciel swept the glass pieces into it. The hints of a smirk tugged at his lips that made Ciel stop to stare as he found himself instantly pissed off by it. "A nickname from a past lover perhaps? Your first crush maybe?" The taller asked slyly. Ciel lightly jabbed the broom's bristles to his chest playfully as his lips twisted into a horribly bitter smile.

"No, someone much worse than that. Trust me."

[Sebastian]

Chapter 4


The next few weeks seemed to speed by. Everything went according to routine as it had for the past five years that Ciel had been serving Mrs. Claspan. That was never a good thing. One of the first things Ciel learned about being a demon was that boredom was an unwanted friend. Sebastian and Claude's struggle for his soul started to make more sense. Of course there were better souls than his own to fight over- Hell, Alois probably tasted better now that he thought about it- but the fight was what made it good. The 'taste' of a soul was really more of a sense of fulfillment as opposed to a favor you feel on your tongue. Ciel was beginning to worry that his contract was going to last longer than he bargained for. Old ladies were tricky, which is why only desperate demons made contracts with them. They had the ability to appear ready to die in a moment and still manage to eek out a good 10 or 20 years of tedious servitude. Some days, Ciel took it personally. Dreary fat boring old ladies got to live well past their 90s when he had to die at the age of 13... twice. Even his Lizzy hadn't lived to see her 60s. He couldn't help but wonder what the Reapers thought of dreary fat boring old ladies. Did they have trouble collecting them at all? In any case, a bored demon was a dangerous demon and those blue eyes seemed to hold more contempt with each glance to his master.

Mrs. Claspan's saving grace was an unexpected friendship. Partners, servants, pawns, necessary family, and enemies were all words Ciel had always used to describe the people around him in the past, but never had he thought about calling any of them friends or seeking out friends on their own. Alexander, the previously mysterious employee, was proving to be one of the very few exceptions to this standard. The small demon appreciated his intelligence and realistic sense of humor. He actually found himself genuinely laughing at his jokes as opposed to the polite social chuckle he was raised on. He started to schedule their shifts together, just so he had someone to talk to and keep his mind off his inevitably disappointing meal. He discovered he was looking into pop culture and human entertainment just to keep up with the conversations. He knew Alexander was a friend when he realized that he wasn't doing these things to be polite or to blend in. He was doing them because he enjoyed sharing interests with him.

"You're a very inteligent kid, aren't you?" Alexander commented while they were closing one evening. When one comes to term with the fact that they are immortal, one goes through a peculiar phase when he realizes that he has an infinite amount of time to do an infinite amount of things. Many go on rampages, destroying what they can and causing chaos until they are restrained by reapers. Some take hold of the pleasures they enjoyed as a human and amplify them. Some seek thrills and do horribly dangerous stunts just to watch themselves heal up in hours or days what would have taken weeks or even months.

Ciel was a demon who read. When he went through his "phase", he waited at the library's door until it opened and read everything he touched until it closed. Some nights, he would even sneak into the back cupboard at closing just so he could read all night. Otherwise, he would check out bags full of books and was able to return them all the next morning. He read until he'd read everything in the library and even went as far as to request that they call him every time they got a new book. He'd been offered jobs there, but he always declined, protesting that he would not be able to read the books if he were busy cataloguing them.

At Alexander's compliment, the small demon only shrugged. "I just have too much time on my hands." He admitted, which was actually very true.

Alexander laughed and hung up his apron, "Id offer to take you out for ice cream somewhere, but I think you're a bit too cerebral for that."

Ciel paused and smirked bashfully. Was he actually blushing? How ridiculous. "Actually, I really like sweets." He admitted hesitantly, "But I have to cook dinner for Mrs. Claspan. She has me on a pretty tight schedule." The small demon lamented as he rolled his eyes slightly. He suddenly perked, "Come have dinner with us."

Alexander blinked at the question and his smile grew, "Is it as bad when the adult goes to a strange kid's house?" He teased, earning him a small shove. "How old are you anyway?"

"Like seventeen." Ciel shrugged. Seven seemed to be the oldest he could pass for.

"'Like' seventeen?" The other asked, "What are you, a vampire?"

Ciel's eyes would briefly and subtly flash pink as he smirked. "Vampires wished they were as horrible." He countered darkly. He expected an incredulous stare or a nervous laugh, but he was given a serious gaze of caution and somehow... respect. Ciel held his smirk as he finished up and shut out the light.

[Sebastian]

Chapter 5


Once upstairs, Ciel held the door open for Alexander before entering as well.

"I'm done for the day, Mrs. Claspan." He announced to the woman who had seated herself at the table by the window with a book and a cup of tea. "I brought Alexander up to share dinner with us if that's all right."

Mrs. Claspan ifted her head and smiled, "Oh, I don't mind, dear. It's always nice to have a guest."

The two moved to the kitchen, Ciel reaching for a box of pasta. Before he could even set it on the counter, Alexander took the box from his hand.

"You're a guest, you shouldn't have to." He protested, trying to take the box back, which was easily kept out of his short reach.

"I'd like to." The taller countered, shooing Ciel out of the kitchen. The smaller shrugged and defiantly leaned in the doorway.

"Fair enough. Al I can make decently is pasta, anyway." He sighed, accepting defeat a bit too easily. Playfully, he added, "Bring it out to us at once. I'll not eat from a cold plate." In a snobbish tone that would have been natural for him a century ago.

"Of course, sir." Alexander replied in a similarly playful tone, but it caught Ciel off-guard. Its smooth politeness twisted in his stomach. Suddenly, it was then that Ciel's mind could decode his voice. Just like the rest of him, Alexander's voice had been a total mystery until the small demon allowed himself to hear it. He backed out of the kitchen and took off for his bedroom, trying to calmly close it behind him with shaky hands. He felt his heart race as he walked to the mirror.

"Sebastian." He whispered, "That's Sebastian's voice." He hadn't heard that voice in almost 130 years, yet it rung in his memory as if he'd heard it all this time. Those shaking hands reached up to rip off the eye patch hidden under his bangs as he held his hair aside. The contract on his eye had returned brightly. He could feel it clinging there as if it were a small mite or parasite.

How dare you, Sebastian? He thought bitterly, How dare you change your form to deceive me? How dare you... forget me? The enraged demon kicked the side of the dresser, chipping a generous portion of the dresser drawer off. He didn't care. He wanted to be angry with him, but he was really angry with himself for missing it so easily. Ciel backed up and flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. Okay, he had to get calm. There was still a chance that it wasn't Sebastian. He could just be a man with a similar voice, right? Unlikely, but he couldn't just burst in there and demand answers because he could look insane if Alexander were just a human.

"Fuck." He muttered, chucking a pillow across the room. He'd made friends with Alexander. He couldn't make a move because he'd gone and done something as stupid as make friends with him and the part that irritated him the most was that he actually cared. He was genuinely afraid of hurting him. Ciel rolled over and pushed himself up, making himself take a breath. He could catch the pink demonic glow of his eyes in his reflection and knew he'd have to calm himself down before he could go back out there. He took more deep breaths, closing his eyes. Okay, this was good though. If this was Sebastian, he'd done it! He had found his missing servant and now he only had to redirect him. Good.

Ciel nodded and tied the eye patch back over his eye and decided to pull his gloves off. Perhaps the Sebastian within Alexander would notice the symbol on his hand as something demonic. He set them on the dresser and calmly walked back out, "I'm sorry about disappearing, Mrs. Claspan." He told his meal, hoping she could hear the apologetic smile in his voice.

After dinner, Ciel leaned back in his chair and rubbed his forehead a moment. Both he and his master knew he could't survive on human food, which meant he rarely ate it. However, in-keeping with the human disguise, the small demon didn't mind downing a human meal or two in front ofx. What he didn't expect was his desire for seconds. Alexander's cooking wasn't good, it was perfect. The meat was done just as he liked it as a human and the vegetables had the right spices to taste genuinely good to his picky mouth. It was his cooking.

Ciel reached for a napkin and pretended to dab his mouth as he stared at Alexander cautiously, watching him converse with his meal. "Sebastian." He mouthed behind his napkin. "I order you to hand me the salt." Ciel felt silly at first, but Alexander glanced over at him.

"Is it no good?" Alexander asked, glancing down at the food. Ciel felt a rush of adrenaline when he watched him reach for the salt as if it were in slow motion. "Perhaps it just needs a bit more salt."

Ciel grabbed the shaker and set it aside, "It's brilliant," He murmured, lowering the napkin. "I feel sick." He announced, which was actually partially true. His stomach felt like it was trying to turn itself inside out. It was mostly an excuse to get Alexander out of the apartment.

"I'm sor-"

"It's fine! You're fine. Your food is fantastic. I'm just catching something. " Ciel insisted as he watched Mrs. Claspan's eyebrow raise curiously. He knew she wouldn't say anything, but she was catching on. "I'm sorry to spoil everything."

"Oh dear." Alexander murmured, "Let me fix you something to help."

Ciel shook his head and stood, reaching for Alexander's coat. "You will go home and stay healthy so you can cover my shift tomorrow morning." He needed a day to sort this out anyway. Alexander looked as if he were ready to protest, but nodded anyway. He took the coat and hugged Ciel briefly before heading for the door.

"Feel better, sir." He said before closing the door behind him. Ciel instantly relaxed and walked to the table to clear up dinner.

"Who was that man, dear?" Mrs. Claspan asked as she reached for her book once more after Ciel took her plate. The boy demon stopped and crinkled his brow at her.

"That was Alexander, the barrista you hired a few weeks ago." He explained, tilting his head quizzically. Mrs. Claspan paused her reading and frowned a little.

"I haven't hired anyone in two years, sweetie."

[Sebastian]

Chapter 6


The next morning, Ciel decided to go in to work. What had happened the night before was disturbing, but his desire to solve this at last pushed him out of bed that morning. Not that he slept at all. He'd spent the entire night scheming and thinking up ways to get Sebastian to remember him... and seemingly himself as well. Ciel apologized repeatedly and automatically to Mrs. Claspan as he fumbled through the morning routine, often causing the blind woman to stumble around him. Anyone else would have managed, but when you were as stuck in your habits as Gwen Claspan, you would have a lot to adjust to.

As soon as the small demon had sputtered out a breakfast for the old woman, he left the apartment without a word. He returned moments later to put on his forgotten shoes and promptly left again. Ciel was not a very good demon.

Downstairs, Alexander was already opening things up and Ciel found himself frozen in the stairway. He watched the other work silently for several minutes before he finally broke his trance and stepped into the room.

"I thought I heard someone on the stairs." Alexander boldly murmured as he pulled fresh coffe from the grinder. He lifted his brown eyes to look down at Ciel. "Glad you're feeling well enough to come to work though." His words were friendly, but there was a cold darkness to his tone that locked all of Ciel's joints in place. That stare would stop anything dead.

"A-aren't your eyes grey?" The smaller finally asked, puffing his cheeks briefly as he plucked up the courage to speak again. If this was Sebastian, he wasn't going to let him intimidate him. He was the master and he would have control.

Alexander didn't seem to expect the question because his expression softened, "They tend to change depending on what I wear. Warmer colors bring out the brown pigments." He said, tugging at the collar of his dark red button-down. He broke their staring contest and filled the coffee machine with grounds. "You are feeling better, though. Right?"

Ciel relaxed a bit, supposing the other was just irritated he had to wake up early to cover a shift he didn't need to. "I am." He replied, fumbling in back to tie his apron. "Sorry for having you come in early." He added, sighing in frustration as the bow didn't seem to want to come together.

"I don't mind." Alexander replied, more warmth returning to his voice. Was he really feeling nicer or was he trying to distract him from his eyes? Alexander had the wonderful ability of seeming so much like Sebastian that Ciel was nearly positive it was him and then turn it around to seem so ordinary. "I'm usually awake anyway." He added as he walked behind Ciel, taking his hands so he could move them aside and tie the bow for him.

"You have a tattoo?" The taller asked, flipping Ciel's left hand over to stare at the contract.

Ciel faultered a bit when the hands were felt behind him and gently tugged his own hand out of them. "Yeah, it's... Yeah. " He replied awkwardly, wiggling his fingers some as he thought about the other's hand... touching his own. Now that he thought about it, wouldn't Alexander have a mark if he really were Sebastian? He turned around and looked to the taller's left hand to see that it was bandaged. "What happened to your hand?" He asked automatically.

Alexander pulled his own hand up and looked down at it. "I burned it while I was cooking last night." He explained, wincing a little as it flexed. So his contract mark had returned when Ciel's did? "I didn't want to worry you, so I waited until I was home to mend it."

Ciel nodded and turned, "I hope it feels better soon." He murmured as he moved to the kitchen to get the pastries started.

"Ciel, are you sure you're feeling well enough to work?" Alexander called after him, causing him to turn and give a questioning look, "Your face is quite flushed."

Ciel's hands instantly moved up to hold his cheeks to feel their warmth. "I'm fine."

Alexander's face melted into a patronizing smile, "Aww, do you have a little crush on me?"

Ciel's eye's widened in alarm as he scowled at his co-worker. "Don't be an imbecile!" He snapped, backing up only to be tugged back into a playful embrace from the other.

"That's not a very definite answer. You don't feel anything when I hug you?" He asked, squeezing the squirming demon to his chest.

"I don't!" Ciel whined, despite his face getting significantly redder. He sighed, just letting Alexander hug him until content. God, he smelled so good. "I'm not going to hug you back." He mumbled into his chest.

"But you want to. I can feel your little heart beating against me." The taller cooed teasingly.

"Because I want to punch you!" Ciel growled, shoving away from him. He huffed and reached up to fuss with his hair. Alexander just stared at him with an infuriating smirk. "Go make some-" He was interrupted by the jingling entrance of the day's first customer. Ciel's gaze latched onto him instantly. A black umbrella closed to reveal a tall man in a closed black trench coat. The black dress pants and shoes suggested that he wore a business suit underneath. The dreary lighting dulled his dark brown eyes to hide their true shade and his hair, while not black, was a long silky dark brown. It was tied behind him elegantly. This man did not look exactly like Sebastian, but he looked quite a deal more than Alexander did. Both manager and barrista stared shamelessly at him, eyes narrowing in contempt.

"What are you doing here?" They both asked in unison.

[Sebastian]

Chapter 7


The three in the standoff exchanged confused glances between each other. The dark newcomer finally looked to Ciel as he turned and locked the door behind him. "You," He began in a voice so familiar, Ciel's heart jumped. "Have me confused with someone else." He said this with such confidence that Ciel had trouble thinking of what to say next. He was also still trying to figure out how Alexander knew him.

"You think I have, but that's only because I ordered you to forget." Ciel finally protested, only earning him more strange stares from the other two. He felt so stupid for blurting that. He'd hastily called him out and would look like a fool if he were wrong.

"Ordered me?" The dark man asked, perking a slender eyebrow, "No one has ever dared order me to do anything."

"Ciel, I really don't-" Alexander began, but silenced at the sound of the dark man's irritated growl. Like a cat arching its back or a snake rattling its tail, this was a warning to the other two that this man was ready to strike if provoked further.

Ciel frowned and walked out from behind the counter, eyes narrowing up at the taller man as if trying to see through him. "I order you to remember me." He said firmly. He already looked ridiculous. Why not get what he wanted? He'd barely finished talking when the dark man grabbed and lifted his small body up by his neck. Any human would have kicked and choked for their life, but luckiy Ciel was no such thing. He only winced at the tight grip in those black gloves, knowing his neck was a hair away from being snapped. He stared at the threatening male confidently, deciding that he was very much mistaken.

"There aren't any souls to collect here. You're wasting time." Alexander spoke up, holding a tea tray much like a discus or Frisbee. "And if you don't let go of him, I'm going to slice your hands off." Whether Alexander actually could slice this man's hands off seemed pretty irrelivant to the man strangling Ciel, but he seemed to lose interest in threatening the smaller demon and dropped him. The boy crumpled to the floor, but did his best to scramble away. He felt like a coward and an idiot, but he honestly had no idea what was happening or would happen next. The man stepped more into the light and the shade of his eyes was now much more of a greener gold than Ciel had tricked himself into seeing in his hopes that it were Sebastian. Those eyes glared down at him through his wire rims as his lips parted in a scowl, pointed teeth glinting in the florescent light. Suddenly, Ciel remembered why his voice sounded so familiar.

"You!" He shouted up at the newcomer, pushing to his feet once more with renewed confidence. This man was no threat to him anymore. "Grell Sutcliff." He was proud of himself for even remembering his name.

The man's expression changed instantly from one of anger to an excited smile. Oh yes, it was coming back to him. That smile filled him with disgust and humiliation, "You know who I am?" He asked like an obscure celebrity. He studied the demon more. "Did we have a fling? They've been running together lately."

"You murdered my aunt." Ciel replied bluntly, feeling his irritation rise as Grell's seemed to drop. "Finally stopped wearing a dead lady's clothes?"

"Will made me dress like this!" The reaper protested, tugging at the collar of his trenchcoat with a pout. Ciel rolled his eyes. Honestly, a grown man... "Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead in something so unfashionable." He bent to study the small demon for a moment, "You're that brat who tied-" He shut up immediately and looked to Alexander, who still seemed pretty ready to slice his hands off.

"Grell has been helping me. " Alexander explained as he finally set the tea tray down. "I'm sure you've figured out by now that I'm a demon as well. For over a century now, I haven't been able to form contracts with humans. " He explained, eyes shifting to the staircase. "Grell offered to bend a few rules for me so I could steal some souls to eat in exchange for some... favors."

Ciel felt his stomach twist as his employee spoke. He just came out and admitted he was a demon, but that wasn't what bothered him. "You..." Ciel clenched his fists as he struggled to think up the words he wanted to say as he realized how angry he was becoming. "It was your stupidity and greed that turned me into this in the first place and then you leave me for almost a century to figure this out on my own. Then you come in here to steal my food and tell me you've been giving that garbage favors! Favors? I ordered you to get rid of him and you're doing... God knows what with him. You even went so low as to make me care about you." And with an unhesitant crack, Ciel's hand slapped across Alexander's face. His hand retracted to rip off his eye patch and throw it to the floor, "I'm the reason you can't make contracts. You're already in one."

Alexander could only stare, jaw relaxed in shock as he slowly reached up to touch the growing welt on his cheek. The cheek, once covered with tan freckles had paled even in the few hours he'd been there. His skin tone had evened out and turned creamy white. If he couldn't remember being Sebastian, his body certainly could. He looked down at his hands, clearly noticing the change as his nails began to darken into demonic black claws. He looked back up at Ciel and got to his feet, flexing the hand with a contract hidden under the bandages. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He only walked out the door once more.

[Sebastian]

Chapter 8


Alexander returned to his home entirely soaked with rain. The rain seemed to have washed away all of his appearance, turning brown spikes darker and longer until black strands stuck to his cheeks and neck. The grey in his eyes looked as if it had been dyed red mingled in with that brown shade. His body and face changed too, melting into something more familiar. He moved instantly to the bathroom, shoving the light on hastily as he looked at himself. His hands moved up to his hair, fingers combing through its length as water slid to the floor. Alexander studied the mirror and Sebastian studied back. What Ciel said was ridiculous and hardly made sense, but here was this man he didn't know looking back at him.

Back in 1916, when Ciel had given that fateful order, Sebastian had forgotten everything imediately. The demon's entire past and present had been wiped from his mind, which resulted in him accidentally ejecting himself from Hell. He wandered Germany without a clue who he was, what he was, or what he looked like. A newspaper he found on a trolley depicted a man named Alexander on the front page. As a demon who altered his appearance based on his master's desires, to accidentally take this man's form was something he hadn't even noticed. He spent the next few decades as Alexander, picking up odd jobs for wages and food that simply wasn't satisfying. No matter how big the meal, he still found himself hungry in the end. It was several years before he even realized he was a demon. Now, with no food and no idea how to get some, Alexander would walk for days without even realizing, hoping something would start making sense. He found himself drawn to England, particularly the outer London areas. He was very hungry by then, but he wasn't searching for food there. He had an important appointment here, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Soon he came to realize that the souls of animals were finally starting to bite into that hunger, however unsatisfying it left him in the end. He knew the time would come when he would have to take a human soul.

Around the late 90s, Grell had found him after he'd accidentally lost control. The starving demon stood in his human massecre. Everything was silent now besides the tranquil gushing of the fountain behind him. The street lamps had been all destroyed and the only humans nearby were dead at his feet. Reapers Grell Sutcliff and William Spears had been assigned to pick up after this disaster and Alexander had seated himself on the edge of the fountain calmly by the time they'd arrived. With a glare, William gathered up the paperwork for this disaster and set about organizing it to make the collection go as smoothly as possible.

"Demon," He called over, seeming to wear a perpetual scowl. His dislike for demons grew evermore apparent with each minute. "Which of these souls have you already taken?" He asked, jabbing the victims' files with the butt of his stamp. Alexander looked to the bodies around him, trying to remember even killing them. He finally looked back to the reaper and only shrugged, earning him a disgusted sigh. "Grell."

"Ah! What?" The redhead snapped out of his concentration, focusing himself on clicking at the pager in his hands. The gadget was snatched from him and would have been crushed in the older reaper's hand had that not meant more paperwork for the already overloaded manager.

"This demon is clearly disoriented. Please watch him while I sort this out." William said as he walked closer to the dazed man. He took a small pen light and shined it in his eyes, seeming to look for something other than his pupils contracting. "He was last registered under the name Sebastian Michaelis, contracted to Ciel Phantomhive. He never collected the soul." He said, staring at the pen light, which seemed to be feeding him the information. He remembered what a mistake saying that name was in front of Grell, who gasped as if being told he'd just won a luxurious vacation.

"Oh, my dear Sebby!" Grell whined, having only grown more dramatic since the invention of soap operas. He sat down beside the demon and slid arms around his neck, "The poor thing deranged with hunger and forced to his lowest depressions. Not to worry, my love. Grell is here with a romantic Nursing Back to Health Montage of Love scene!"

Alexander didn't remember very much of that evening, but for years after that, Grell appeared from time to time, giving him heads up on local humans that were about to die. In return, he gave his time and reluctant affection, a body to cling to on lonely nights, which seemed to be just about every night for Grell. The reaper's intrusions were annoying, but it was all Alexander had and the only help he got.

Alexander drew from his daze when he heard\ the doorbell, sighing a little. That would be Grell running after him. The confused demon shuffled through his dark house to the front door, lining a dark ruby eye up to the peep hole, deciding whether or not to pretend not to be home. He gasped at the sight of Ciel and pulled the door open quickly. The small demon was completely soaked and dirty, shaking hands and arms completely covered in blood.

"Help me." Ciel pleaded, staring up pathetically.

[Sebastian]

Chapter 9


Ciel didn't seem surprised at all at Alexander's change in appearance. He actually seemed very relaxed by it. So, he really was this Sebastian, wasn't he? He stepped aside to let Ciel in and closed the door behind him.

"Why don't I run a bath and you can tell me what happened." He suggested, inviting him more inside with a gesture. He could clean up after the other later. He had so much going on in his mind that it didn't matter right now. Ciel only nodded and followed in shivering after him. No tears would fall from his eyes. He was still very convinced he'd lost the ability to do that since he lost his family.

"What happened?" Alexander asked finally, worried Ciel might have hurt himself. He'd quite obviously killed someone else. How had he managed to walk all the way here looking so bloody? Surely the police had something to say... unless he killed them too.

"I panicked," Ciel murmured tiredly, "I killed her. I killed her so horribly." He confessed, feeling a smirk tug at his lips. "I just remember throwing Grell out after you left. He didn't seem all that interested with you gone anyway." His voice was a bit bitter there. "I rushed upstairs just to see her. Not in the way you want to see your grandmother or friend. It was more in the way you'd check on your wallet after hearing about a crime or you'd check to make sure the fast food place got your order right. She was there, of course. She just sat there by the window, listening to the rain. She looked so calm and peaceful as if she knew I was about to kill her before I did. I asked her what was so special about her. You and Claude killed each other over me and why not? You ought to have because I am Ciel Phantomhive. She didn't answer me and I really don't think I wanted her to. I killed her then. I tore open her chest and ripped out her soul." He giggled a bit at the thought as he followed Alexander into the bathroom, watching him prepare the tub for a bath. Ciel stared at the scene, remembering how he used to see it every night before bed. The other demon got up and reached into the cabinet for a towel, handing it to Ciel, who gripped it longingly until the dried blood on his hands cracked. The towel smelled like his clothes. Like him. Ciel found himself nuzzling it briefly. So many heartless things he'd said and did to this demon that he couldn't believe how much he missed the sight of him.

"There you go. If you need anything, let me know." Alexander said as he stepped past the younger and out the door. He didn't show any reaction to Ciel's confession, which was preferable. He really wouldn't have cared for his blubbering fussing. Ciel closed it behind him and pressed his hands to it a moment as he sighed.

"Stay here." Ciel ordered, wondering if he would follow automatically.

"Of course." He heard from the other side. The smaller demon nodded to himself and undressed before stepping into the bath. Prepared perfectly, just as he liked it. Outside the bathroom, Alexander leaned against the wall, slowly pulling the bandage off his left hand. He studied the contract on it, sliding his thumb over the smooth skin it sat on.

"You've realized it, haven't you?" Ciel's voice questioned. Alexander clenched that hand and sighed.

"It certainly does fill in the holes very nicely." He replied, unbuttoning his own wet shirt before opening the dresser for a soft t-shirt, subconsciously digging around until he found a black one. He plopped his old shirt in the hamper before pulling the new one over his head. He rummaged a bit more before pulling out one of his smaller t-shirts and a spare pair of boxers for when Ciel got out of the bath. "So, if I am this man, why can't I remember being him?" He finally asked as he walked back to the bathroom door to talk.

"Becaue I haven't ordered you to, yet." Ciel replied calmly.

"Why haven't you?"

There was silence for a bit after this apart from the light splashing of bath water as the small demon cleaned himself. "Just stalling saying goodbye to Alexander."

Alexander blinked in surprise at this, not expecting him to say something like that. "You're afriad of losing me?" He asked as the door opened to a much cleaner Ciel with a towel around his waist.

"Didn't you hear me back there?" The shorter asked, frowning a little, "Whether I like it or not, I do care about you. You're the first friend I've had since I was little And I..." He bit his lower lip to keep himself from talking.

Alexander couldn't help but smile, which earned him a scowl from the other, but he didn't care. "Ciel, how old are you? Are you really seventeen?"

Ciel frowned at the weird and abrupt question before shrugging, seeming to have to stop to do the math, "I'll be 135 this December. Why do you-"

That question was cut short by Alexander's lips, pressing against his own.

[Sebastian]

Chapter 10

Ciel's entire body was stiff, fingers gripping that towel for his life. He didn't pull away, but it would be over too fast for him to realize what was happening, how he felt about it, and whether he wanted to kiss back. Within a moment, his bare back was pushed up against the door as those hands started to travel down his waist. Ciel pushed Alexander's chest away and looked to the floor.

"Why did... Don't do that!" He protested, slipping into the bathroom and slamming the door against Alexander, making him step back a bit. "God, you piss me off like Sebastian does at least," His muffled voice growled from the other side. Alexander couldn't help but grin, leaning against the door frame.

"Would you like some clothes?" He asked calmly, trying not to laugh. The door jerked open a bit to admit a small arm that snatched the clothes out of his hand before slamming it once more. After a few silent minutes, Ciel emerged in the other's oversized clothes, glaring up at him.

"What the hell were you thinking anyway?" The smaller snapped.

"I don't feel so bad knowing you're actually older than me." He explained with a shrug. "I suppose you aren't gay, then?"

"What? No! I'm... I don't know," Ciel shrugged and shoved past him. Did it really matter to demons? Ciel came to realize that gender didn't really matter anymore. Girls, boys. If they were human, they were food. If they were demon, they were compettition. What did it matter to a demon what was sinful or not anyway? "I'm not older than you." He countered in addition as he tossed the towel in the hamper as well.

"Well, you're not older than Sebastian, I suppose." Alexander reasoned as he stepped for the door. "I'll put on some tea." He offered as he exited the bedroom and walked for the kitchen. Demons didn't need tea, but there was something soothing about the ritual that came with tea that Ciel held on to. Sometimes he would have tea and sometimes he would sip from an empty cup depending on how distracted he felt that day.

In the kitchen, Ciel leaned back against the counter as he let Alexander take care of the tea. He felt a silky weight against his leg and he blinked as he looked down at a small calico at his feet. He stared down at the feline before looking up at Alexander with a perked eyebrow.

"What?" The taller asked with a small frown, he reached down to stroke the cat's back, which caused her to arch up instantly into his fingers as her tail wrapped around Ciel's leg.

"It's nothing." Ciel assured, shaking his head as he squatted to pet the feline as well. He was glad his cat allergy seemed to have died with his mortality, otherwise his eyes would have puffed up upon entering the house. He scooped her into his arms as he stood up, squeeing her some as he thought. "What do you think of me? Answer truthfully."

Alexander paused, knowing the contract Sebastian had with the young demon was what was forcing his mouth open. It wasn't that something was physically pushing his mouth open, but he felt so compelled to tell Ciel now that he would have felt miserable if he hadn't.

"The thought of really being someone you desire so much excites me, but I'm terrified because I have no idea what this man is like." He explained as carefully as he could. "I know I want to be with you and that you're contracted to be with Sebastian until you stop moving. Being Sebastian is starting to sound more and more like a good idea. However, you should know that Sebastian will be at your side because he is obligated by contract. I will be at your side because I want to be. Sebastian will always be there to serve you, but I will always be there to love you." He shrugged as he soaked a few tea bags in the kettle after it had boiled. "The choice is ultimately up to you."

Ciel stared down at the cat as he listened, rubbing her soft velvet ears as she nosed at his hand for more substantial petting."I have to get him back, Alexander. I can't let him win." The boy said seriously, "Kiss me again." He murmured, almost whispering. "Kiss me again and I'll tell you my answer."

Once again, that basic desire to listen to Ciel kicked in, causing Alexander to move quickly. He grabbed Ciel's shoulders and stared at him a bit. No, he had to do it nicely. This wasn't Sebastian's kiss and he wouldn't let him have it for him. He loosened his hold on the smaller demon and leaned in, cramping the small cat with an indignant mew. Softly, those pale lips faintly brushed Ciel's before resting on top. His contracted hand moved up to cup his round cheek just under his own contract seal as he moved his lips to fit. Ciel closed his eyes held tightly to the cat as if seeking comfort from her. All the same, he kissed back, barely ghosting the tip of his tongue against the other's bottom lip before parting some.

Ciel slowly released the cat to the counter so that his arms could wrap around his neck as Alexander took his waist firmly. Ciel kissed this time, shifting to stand on his toes to meet the taller's height better. The smaller demon gripped the back o Alexander's shirt as his tongue gently prodded his lost servant's lips as if asking permission to enter. Alexander obliged, parting his lips for that soft organ as he brushed his own back against it. Those brave hands moved again to slip under Ciel's shirt, brushing lightly over his hips. He curled his fingers under the waistband of his boxers, waiting for them to be pushed away. When Ciel did nothing to stop him, he slowly pulled down on them until they slipped halfway down his small hips. He could feel Ciel gasp against his lips when his hand went inside to explore more sensitive areas. Ciel allowed it to go on for a few seconds before he gently tugged Alexander's hand out, lacing their fingers with a firm squeeze.

"I will always remember this moment." Alexander whispered, staying close as he brushed their foreheads together. Ciel's eyes opened and widened at this statement, feeling his cheeks get warm with adrenaline.

"Sebastian," He said softly, but commandingly. He watched the heartbreak erupt in those ruddy brown eyes, but he continued, "I order you to remember everything. Remember me."

There was silence for a moment. No gasps of air, no bright flashes, no spectacular transformations or fanfare of any sort. The taller demon simply backed up and dropped to one knee, moving a hand to rest on his heart as he bowed his head. He smirked, exposing those white fangs.

"Yes, My Lord."

[Sebastian]

Epilogue

Ciel slept for the first time in years. His small form melted into the plush comforter and pillows soundly until the curtains of the bedroom window were pushed open. The morning sunlight nudged the small demon awake.

"Young Master, it's time to open your eyes." That familiar silky tone coaxed as the younger groaned awake. Never would he be a morning person. Those blue eyes flicked open slowly as he sat up, arching his back in a stretch. There he was. Sebastian walked around the bed in those same black coat tails as if he'd simply taken a day off. One 95 year break later, his butler was back to work without missing a beat.

"This morning I've prepared Jackson's Earl Grey. I'm sure it's been quite some time since you had that." He said, pouring the tea into a cup for his master. Ciel snorted and scooted to the edge of the bed, taking in a deep breath.

"That aroma..." Ciel sighed as if he'd relaxed for the first time. "It still smells good." He held his arms up as Sebastian pulled the t-shirt off his chest and kept them up as it was replaced with a new one that fit him much better. His butler must have gathered some of his own clothes from the apartment. He was perfectly capable of dressing himself now, but he wanted to see Sebastian do it. Perhaps it was silent punishment. The slap that was to come was not.

Sebastian blinked in surprise, but looked up at the younger, "Have I done it wrong, sir?"

"You told me you would remember last night." Ciel muttered, gripping the rustled sheets under him. "And if you do, then you had better act like you do."

The old crow nodded slowly in recognition and stood up, gently pushing the tea cart aside as he sat down next to him. There was a moment whe the two of them only stared at each other, knowing the other was deciding what to do next. Finally, Sebastian slid closer, moving his arms around Ciel's waist as he pulled him against his chest.

"I remember." He asssured softly as that gloved hand reached up to stroke through his har. Ciel closed his as he relaxed, melting into those arms.

"Is this you or Alexander hugging me?" The smaller asked, gripping the front of his coat as if afraid he would disappear once more.

"It's always been me, Ciel." The older told him.

"Why did you call me that?" Ciel snapped, frowning up at him.

"My apologies, young master. You had ordered me to the first day I worked at the coffee shop. " He pointed out.

Ciel just nodded, "I just want to know what you're feeling. I don't know if you're holding me because of the feelings you had as Alexander or if it's because you want to please me as your master. "

"Young master. I want to explain something to you." Sebastian's hand slid down to Ciel's chin to lift his head. "Back then, when you made me forget, I was only hoping to get an order like that because I was suffering very badly. It wasn't because I disliked serving you. It was because I was beginning to form feelings for you I knew would never be returned."

Ciel was quiet for a moment, just staring up at his butler. "You threw away everything because of me?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow. "Your whole past? You just... let it go?" He turned his head to nuzzle Sebastian's hand as he smirked. "Moron."

"Not even forgetting you can keep me from falling for you , it seems." The older sighed, unable to help the small smile at his lips. "May I ask now what you think of me?"

Ciel actually seemed ready for this question as he sat up, resting his hands on Sebastian's shoulders. "You made me very angry that day. We'd been fighting so much that I thought you were really starting to hate me. I always felt so stupid when I worried about losing you. Those first years, I was terrified and hurt. I was hurt because I wanted you too. "

"Do you still want me?" Sebastian asked. He was annoyingly confident as he took that moment to help him change out of his boxers. Instead of replacing them with a new pair, those silky gloves would gently slide up Ciel's soft thighs. The smaller demon watched the hands and did nothing to stop them as they moved under his t-shirt, aimed for that sensitive section.

"Yes." Was all Ciel could get out. Touching and being with Sebastian was easy enough, but the proper words were always so hard to say. His black nails dug into the bedspread when he felt a firm grope under his shirt. Like a trance, Ciel reached up for Sebastian's tie and tugged it loose before those small digits undid the buttons to his coat, waistcoat, and finally his shirt. He did it slowly as if it were a countdown to what they were about to do. Sebastian shrugged the garments off, slowly pulling each glove off with his teeth while Ciel continued down to unzip the older's pants.

"Then, young master, command me." Sebastian

"No." The boy demon said sharply. "Serve me as my butler, but love me as your companion. Act only when you decide to, not when I tell you." Ciel explained, reaching up to stroke through those black strands. "Even if it means not being able to be a perfect butler to the very end." Ciel added in a mocking tone with a teasing smirk as he leaned up to kiss his lips briefly.

Sebastian only seemed happy to oblige as he pushed his shirt up, bending to send a gentle trail of kisses down his stomach. Ciel arched up into them with a soft sigh, letting out a gasp of surprise when those lips traveled to his length as stray kisses covered his shaft. The demon lifted his head only once to speak before he would back down to a morning of pleasure.

"Yes, my love."